Some pickup lines I’ve been tinkering with. Feel free to try them out at your local bodega/yacht club/PTA meeting and send me your results!
Are you wearing space pants? Because I want to have sex with you really badly in outer space and special pants are likely required to avoid suffocation.
Can I check your tag? I want to see if you were made in Taiwan as I only date asians.
You remind me of a girl I used to date. But don’t worry, she’s dead now.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you, specifically your tits.
Screw me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the capital of New Mexico Albuquerque?
Can I borrow a quarter? I told my mom I’d call her when I met the woman who would sleep with me to stop me from committing suicide.
Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night, trying to avoid my swinging axe.
I must be asleep because when I look at you I get nocturnal emissions.
Your face looks familiar. Have you ever been on To Catch a Predator? I think I met you once before on that show years ago.
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your “Barney Rubble.”
Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only “Ten I See” that sounds like an uneducated, backwater hick.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I blind you with this acid before I tell you I’m Ryan Gosling?
Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes and also I’m too lazy to use Google maps.
Excuse me, do you have any Irish in you? If not, would you like to have my penis, which is Irish, in you? Also, my fingers and tongue are Irish because I’m Irish.